Time Traveling Demons

My day was uneventful, as usual. Or "ushe" as I have been trying out on Sergio. He didn't believe me that it was a word, but I proved him wrong. Thanks Urban Dictionary dot com! - Basically I woke up around 1pm, (Sergio just texted me. I don't know how he does it!) ate some crackers, took a shower, then turned on the webcam for a lovely chat with the future husband. THEN it has basically been a marathon of The New Adventures of Old Christine. (i.e. above photo) If you have ever seen the show, you will know that that is how I am going to be when I am older. A spitting image of Old Christine. Do I look forward to it, perhaps.

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I signed on for the Cobalt Camping trip 09. I have no idea what was going through my head when I decided to let Nick know that I was tagging along with him and his girlfriend. (We are driving our asses all they way to Montana.) I would assume it's my need to actually do something with at least one year of my life. For those of you who don't know, Cobalt is a forum community for the band Coheed and Cambria. I have wasted 3 good years with these people, so I figured, why not a camping trip to boot?!

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"I believe that this life is just a small part of our existence. There is way more to life than what we experience on this planet. I don't know if I would say heaven or hell but I know there is more. That said, I will say this. You can inturpet it any way that you'd like. Organized Religion is to adults as Santa Clause is to Children." - Don Scott

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I thought I'd sign off with something very sentimental and mind opening, if you will. & That something came from the mouth of my Uncle Don, who is dying from cancer. There is no way to cure this particular kind & no way for him to know how much time he has left in this version of world. I respect the ways of blinking through the eyes of someone else just a little more now.

The New Adventures of Old Rebecca

Lets see, what have I done today that was remotely interesting? I guess I can account for yesterdays happenings, I traveled to my Aunt and Uncle's house for some fun filled relaxiation. - Basically it was me wanting to spend time with human beings who actually wanted to spend time with me that didn't feel compelled to spend time with me, BUT they went to bed around 11.30, leaving me all alone with Harley the cat to watch television. - What does that make me? Am I that boring of a person? I will grant you, that I never really was that interesting to begin with, but just hanging out has become such a problem for the people in my life lately..it's hard to catch a break.

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I don't think I get just how eccentric my family is, while I am still dabbling into this abyss. I mean, for instance, my brother has been glued to my hip, which is a complete contradiction to what I had previously said (i.e. is it so hard to catch a break?) but alas, it still is a matter of facts. (I guess it depends on who I want to hang out with in the first place.) - I was webcamming with the boy I am going to marry one day and my brother bursts in just being himself, which is utterly embarassing. I mean the things that spill out of this child's mouth just froze my spine & all I really could do was just set my head on the desk while my hubby laughed & they shared a "guy moment".

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Brings me to Guy Moments: I don't really understand guys. They claim to be simple creatures of the night, but I beg to differ. Some begin to show interest then COMPLETLEY 180 and it's back to square one, while others show no interest at all, but later tell you that they think about you when they jerk off. /Le sigh. I just don't get it.

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Later from this embarassing conversation that my brother nor hubby thought was embarassing at all (just me being my overcritical self) I pleaded with one of my best friends, Amanda (see post de virginity) to make her way out of her house, even though it was Richard's (her father) birthday. We drove around in a giant circle just whining about how our lives suck; how technology is just betraying her left & right & how my world seems to just be collapsing just because I need something to complain about. I always seem to need something to complain about. I love her though, she'll figure it out. I still stand by the whole he likes her, (duh, she likes him!) and he just doesn't realize it yet. But, I guess we'll see where it goes for them.

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As for me, shit is changing left and right, but I'll always be the same girl I have been since day one. I'm real good at adapting.

Good morning Starshine! The Earth says hello!

And what a good morning it is kids! Apparently I like to wake up at 7.00 AM just for waking up at 7.00 AM. I started off my morning with lights on because my younger brother was headed off to another fun filled day of highschool; that was about 6.30 AM. So after startling to an abrupt level of awareness, I proceed to pick up my phone to buy a ringtone. I have no clue what came over me, but I felt I needed a new one. (SideNote: Purchased Obstacle 1 - Interpol, a very good song.) I am going to say it's safe to assume that I want to do something with my life as well as not miss my appointment that I have today that I've either been late for or completley absent for of the past two weeks. I want to be not wasting my days sleeping anymore, but I never want to at night. Although last night, what was it..12.30 AM was my new bedtime and it felt..good.

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Confirmed information: My Uncle Rob, or Rob to his peers, has had Congestive Heart Failure. (For those of you who do not know, please inform yourselves by clicking the link that I took 5 seconds out of my day to find.) - I mean, I guess I am worried? But I don't have that aching feeling in my core that this is it for him, I think they're just going to drain his system and send him on his way. Maybe then he won't be such a hard ass.

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I want you all to know that living in a house with as many people as I do is very overwhelming. I keep thinking about the future because of it. Do I really want a house full of this many people? Which leads to..do I want to have children some day? The current answer; No. No I do not want to have children. I cannot incorporate someone else and make sure their needs are met simply because I do not want to. Is that selfish? Food for thought, I suppose. It shouldn't matter to me, but in this day and age when two of your friends are already parents as young as 15, is somewhat of an eye opener. And I do know that once you have a child you are completley changed forever. The question is, Do I want to change forever?

No.

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Perhaps I'll have some more amazing things to type into blog abyss soon. I mean, it's only 7.45 AM and I haven't gotten my shower in yet. We'll see how it goes.

We got your money, now we'll make a new start.

I can't help but think it is one of those days again. Who knows, perhaps everyday is "one of those days." - I didn't really do much for the day to be considered interesting. I woke up to a thousand texts and calls from the people who claim they cannot live without me. So after replying relentlessly to above, I got up and logged myself onto my computer. Proceeding with that, my mother suggested I go to the eye doctor to check on my frame. I then get dressed and go, only to find that Mary, the secretary, is not working. Didn't I do this before? - -Yes, I did. I remembered I went in LAST Monday only to have the same dreadful news escape from her lips to my unwilling ears.

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There is a guy at work that I like. I have been stopped dead in my tracks by the face that is on this boy. I promised myself that I wouldn't like anyone at work, it is just too much..work, to be nothing but both redundent and literal. I find myself walking torwards the bakery (For the folks who don't know, I am a deli clerk, smack dab in the middle of the meat department and bakery) and proceed to just watch him. It sounds very creeperish, but hey, the boy is damn fine! And from time to time he'll come and say hello, but he is the only one who hasn't bothered hitting on me, which I assume is why I like him so dang much.

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The phone just rang, apparently my uncle has had some kind of heart failure. It's amazing how fast someone's day can turn around. I blinked and there this situation was. Am I worried about it? Not at all.

Not at all.

Remberence

It is going to be one of those days, I tell you. I have the simple numbers of 012208 scribbled around my various internet hot spots to see if anyone does recall what these mean to me. So far I don't think anyone has gotten it right, but that is fine with me.

For those of you who don't know, this was the day that shook the entertainment world. A day when a legend fell before us whilst in his sleep via drug overdose. Accidental or not, he was a reason to get up and actually go pay money for a ticket to see a movie.

His name was Heathcliff Andrew Ledger and he was my idol.

Not many people cared about this God of the screen dying, because that is all he simply was to them, a God on a screen. I felt that perhaps I could relate just a little bit more, I grew attached to a man I haven't ever met before, (at least in this life anyways) so I am not going to lie, I wept when he died.

Today I bring back this memory simply because I have, what else, an attachment to it. It's nothing too huge, just remembering what I felt should be remembered. You should try it too sometime, it really feels good.

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Also, anyone who has their birthday on this day of rememberence, well happy birthday, I hope you really enjoy it.

A Change in The Winds.

I am literally just at an impasse of emotions and built up moments as I type this. Potential readers need to know the following. I am a mess. I am a complete an utter mess. I am a jumble of words and a curse of inflictions.

I don't know where the fuck I want to be in 5 years, let alone 5 days.
Is it so bad that I just want to wake up to someone? We could live in the city and take the bus to locations we need to get to because driving is overrated.


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I decided to make one of these blogs because my friend Amanda has one and she pours her soul out to it, so I figured, why not get someone else to listen to me? I will write in a blog to get another source of internet ears to waste their valuable hours reading small font and light colored text.


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I feel that I have lost something before it has even started. I slammed on the breaks before I even walked in his door.
I ache at this thought, I truly do.