Woah, woah, WOAH!

Let's back this train UP!

Apparently things have once again shifted back into their normal sense of balance and my disillusions are back to being at a healthy standard of being aware in any given situation. After 7 days of not speaking to one of the boys that I am currently sparking and burning for, things have turned out to be exactly where they left off even though we had a bump in the road. To your right is a picture of the type of cell phone I currently have. I can't tell you how often I glanced at the phone to see if he left a text message or accidently called me, (& hoping that in reality he really wanted to just call me.) But finally about two days ago, he caught me in the back room. He was on the computer & stuck his foot out to "trip me" (That granted, would of been hilarious if he succeeded.) I simply said

"What's this? You're talking to me again?" (I had to play it like it wasn't bugging me at ALL.) & as if he was planning to shoot this whole speech at me, he pointed his finger at me and snapped

"Hey, I'm not the one who sends people nasty little text messages." Apparently I did more damage then I originally set out. My goal was to save myself from this mess we call a friendship, if we can even call it that! Fast foward to the wee hours of this lovely day when we were actually on the phone, talking about all the things we missed while we weren't on civil terms & how it was dumb overall. Admitting I was less than an emotional wreck over a boy who should have no hold on me at this point; telling anyone who would listen my pissed off story of how I was just protecting myself because I am too caught up. But once it we "had it out" it became so silly, so trivial.

I'd much rather never go through that again with him.

<< & sometimes I wish this boy was still alive.